HAPPINESS!!!

You never know when you are creating a memory for someone else! I giggled the day that John told me he saw me walking in to Mainely Brews that he thought to himself, "Who is shhheeee"??? What he didn't know then was that I was walking in from expressing milk for my amazing little man, Jamieson, and then partying like a rockstar with my sister and friends at Mainely Brews. He walked up to me later that night...I hear this voice say, "Hello Tonya"! I turned around and saw him and was so excited that I nearly knocked his drink out of his hand. We exchanged the typical "hello, where have you been, what are you doing these days" and then we parted. My sister Kari said, "I don't know if you noticed that guy over by the bar...he is quite smitten with you". I said, "I know"! LOL!!! Mikki and Jay kept telling me to go over and talk more---well, Mikki was more like begging me to. So, I did what I never like to do and I approached this mysterious man that I have known all my life but didn't reallllyyy know. I asked him about his sister who was one of my closest friends when I was growing up. I shared some old time stories of him at his house...growing up. I was completely connected to him. It was oddly amazing. I was just out for the night, no conversation going on in my head about meeting a man, wasn't interested in dating at the time and then this AMAZING guy shows up out of nowhere! :-) He's got his stuff that he's dealing with in his life, I've got my stuff that I'm dealing with in my life and we both have the space to be with all of it.

It's been a short while that I've known him at this level but it feels like it's been longer. He's amazing with my son, he's got two beautiful kids and the experience is that this is the gold at the end of the rainbow! ;-)

I love ALL of you John William Heaton-Jones! Thank you for being in my life, for making a difference, for coming into my life as a wonderful surprise. For loving me, for loving Jamieson. You bring, love, beauty, & inspiration into my life. I love that I get to be me--nothing hidden with you. MMMMmmmmwwwaaahhhh!!

Happy Anniversary Nannie & Tatone!!!

Tonight was my parents 37th Wedding Anniversary and they invited Jamieson and I to enjoy an evening out with them!!! This was pretty much the scene...sleeping! :-) This is one of the BEST pictures yet that I have taken of my parents with Jamieson. All I can see in this photo is just how proud they are to have this little guy in their lives! And, he's sporting the socks that my mother made him!! Too cute!

Happy anniversary Mom and Dad!! I acknowledge you both for your love, committment and dedication to each other over the last 37 years. Thank you for being two AMAZING parents and giving life to three wonderful daughters!!! I love you both!!! xoxo

GO PATS!!!

I love this picture...he looks like he's wondering if I think he's as handsome as Tom Brady!!! ;-) My mother found this out shopping one day! I love it!!! Now I need to find him a #12 Jersey!!! Guess it's a trip to Patriots Place!!! :-) He's got to have it when we go to Rob and Andrea's to watch the Superbowl! It's a 2 year tradition to go and hang with them!!! This year, we'll enjoy having the peanut with us to make it more interesting!!!

TRICK OR TREAT...

Jamieson had four different Halloween "Costumes" to go through for the day and the photo above was a top that actually glows in the dark!!! The one below is just stinkin' CUTE!!! We started celebrating Halloween with Auntie Justine and then ended with Uncle Rob and Auntie Andrea!!!

Rob and Andrea made the big trip up from MA to see the little pumpkin!! Rob fell in love immediately!! Really, how could you not...look at that sweet face! ;-)

We all enjoyed a GREAT visit and Rob and Andrea got to have their giggles on the lack of things to do in Pittsfield, Maine. When I called to get their E.T.A., Rob said they were 40 minutes past "No Man's Land". Ha, ha, ha!!! We all got such great laughs. My mom gave Rob the BIG stamp of approval to watch Jamieson anytime he chooses!! ;-)

Master Jamieson has arrived....

This was my birthing team...Jennifer Rogers (birthing doula) and my dear friend, Erik! I was at a Wisdom Course work party when my water broke! Sandhya and Erik brought me back to my apartment where I met Erik and off we went to the hospital.

I had been laboring for almost 14 hours at this point! Breathing the contractions down were becoming a bit too much. After 17.5 hours, they had to induce me, which caused me to have back labor. That's when I requested the epidural!!! God love the epidural!!! They let me rest for about 45 minutes and then it was time to push. An hour later, Master Jamieson came out weighing 6lbs and 18 inches long!

Erik was coaching me at this point on breathing and staying present and focused on my body.

I love this picture...it represents the modern day single mom...out of the shower, the bluetooth earipiece, the cell phone and the peanut! This was the night I got home from the hopsital. My parents came for a little while and then Erik stayed with me until the we hours of the morning! He watched Jamieson while I got some rest.

I actually woke up and found him sleeping on the job! :-)

We finally got to Maine and the peanut was sunggled up with me. I'm completely in love with this little guy...my son!!! ;-)

To my perfect and unstoppable son...I loved you the moment I found out about you and was soooo excited to finally meet you on October 9th at 7:35 in the evening. You came out and immediately recognized my voice when I said, "Hey Peanut...it's your mom...I love you"! You looked right at me and your intense crying became a light quiver. You were surrounded with everyone that loves you...Nana, Auntie Kari, Auntie Laura and Uncle Erik! Tatone came on Sunday to surprise us and I cried and he fell in love with you at a first glance.

I love spending hours watching you sleep, listening to all your different cries for all your different needs. I giggle at how you take your bottle. You fight it at first and then you wrinkle your nose and wiggle your head back and forth while sniffing all at once. It's so adorable.

You are surrounded by so many people who love you. I can't wait for all your different stages of growth and development! Thank you for blessing my life with your beautiful being! I will love you until the end of time!

The King's Quarters....

Here ye, Here ye, let everyone see the "King's Bed"!! (Laughing)...This is where the little peanut is going to be resting. Now, it has been a transition for me. It has been YEARS...YEARS...since before I was in highschool, that I've shared my room with anyone. And because I was the oldest, I got to have my own room growing up after doing "time" sharing it. Now, I know I'm not a mother yet but I can get on some small level, what parents will give up for the love they have for their children. This is my first BIG "giving up" some of my personal space and sharing it with Jamieson! Ha, ha, ha, ha!!! It's temporary and it works!

So, this is the crib that my Mom, sisters and mom's friends all went in on and got for me!!! The bedding came from my Wisdom Course Work Group!!! And, it's all together. With the help of Dad and Paul, the crib was errected a couple weeks ago and the bedding just came in on Friday!!! Everything has been washed and is waiting for the little peanut. I even ironed the dust ruffle!

Brittany and I went shopping at Joanne Fabrics and matched up some flannels that her mom is going to make crib sheets from!!!! He's going to have one of the coolest cribs on the block that all the kids dream of! (I can't stop laughing as I write this). And the sad part of all of it, is he won't even care---just me! Ha, ha, ha!!!

Either way, thank you everyone who has contributed to this amazing, beautiful bed! It has made a huge difference for me and will be a part of his life for a long time! Got to love that it turns into a headboard and a footboard!

Love to you all!!!

MY BABY SHOWER...

It's been two weeks since my baby shower and I've created some time to update my blog!!! Yayyy!!! My shower was AMAZING! I watched myself go through so many different spaces of emotion that day. There was the "nervousness" of "who's going to be there", reconnecting with my friends from Maine and then really being with the reality that I AM GOING TO BE A SINGLE MOM!!! It was something to experience myself in all those different thoughts/spaces.

The "theme" of the shower was the "Hungry Catepillar"...which I have loved since I was a child!

That's what generated my mother creating this quilt for Jamieson! I don't want him to use it afraid that it will get all puke stains! I love my mother's quilts. He's already got 4 quilts between my mother's three and Paula who made me one too!!!

My mother and my sisters, Peggy, Paula, Kathy, Julie, & Martha all got me the Crib I registered for. Dad and Paul came down last weekend and put it together. I was so surprised and THRILLED! Then, this past week, my Wisdom Course Work Group came over and they gave me a gift certificate to Target. Today, I ordered the bedding for the little peanut. When that comes, I will take a picture of it all put together!!!!

My Aunt Mary, Aunt Eva, Stephanie & Nikki all got me the car seat travel system!!! I have to admit that I actually needed to take out the instruction booklet to get it set up in my car! Now, I just need to take it to the fire station to have them look at it and make sure I have it in correctly!!!

It was an amazing day. I got so many wonderful gifts from everyone and Mikki was so great to take a bunch of pictures. Erik was the hit of the party--being the only man and only friend from MA that came to my shower! I really got how much people love me! And, I got to hang with my friend Melissa who I have not seen for a while. I cried when I saw Tracy and then Leslie and the twins! What an incredible day.

Much love to everyone who put my shower together. My mother and sisters did an amazing job with the shower as well as all the women from the "friendship" group! Thank you for your time, love and generosity!

Only four more weeks until the little peanut is here!!! Hold onto your shirts!!!

Love ya!